MONEY
On Spending & Saving With Joy
The importance of enjoying the process.
We spend and save to support (future) happiness.
We may define it broadly—like caring for loved ones or abundantly supporting a good cause—but the point is to handle finances in a way that leaves us and others better off.
But barring extreme circumstances, what if our mindset in the moment of spending and saving affects our happiness every bit as much as the actual money?
Meet Joan & Jill
You couldn’t tell Joan and Jill apart, but their attitudes are diametrically opposed.
After Joan’s next paycheck, she begrudgingly refrains from a deeply-desired $200 purchase in order to meet her monthly savings target. She resents the deprivation, resents herself for perceiving it as deprivation, and takes reluctant solace in the fact that sticking with this stupid savings plan long enough will mean, one day, she never has to worry about it again.
The next weekend, Joan’s old roommate is in town to deal with a family emergency. Joan takes her to lunch to give her a respite and help her talk through the crisis. The whole outing proves delightful and refreshing for both of them. When the check comes, Joan sees the total of $80—almost twice what she’d expected, even though they both thought they’d ordered modestly. Joan sullenly gives the water her card, scarcely hiding her irritation at the unexpected setback to her sacrosanct budget, not to mention how much more she’ll need to deprive herself to make up for it.
You can probably guess where this is going.
Jill refrains from the same $200 purchase. It’s a bit of a mental battle, but she prevails, and congratulates herself on overcoming a long-term struggle with compulsive, emotional spending. She tells herself out loud that she’s fortunate even to have enough income to make choices like that. She taps the button to confirm the deposit into savings, and smiles while envisioning the little bit of extra peace of mind that this cash will create for her (and her future family) one day.
Jill’s old roommate likewise comes to town flustered and depressed. They, too, go out to an equally enjoyable lunch, and this meal also comes out to a pricier-than-expected $80. Jill can’t pretend it’s not a setback to her savings account—after all, it’s hard to argue with arithmetic. Yet she smiles slightly as she slips the waiter her card, thinking about the joy that it brought to a struggling friend.
Who’s happier?
Their financial histories are identical, right down to the last line item, but one experienced happiness whereas the other experience distress from the same events.
Whether or not this fictitious situation resonates with you, perhaps the tension does. Frugality and occasional indulgence are a constant balancing act. Life gets unnecessarily difficult when either one gets out of hand and stops serving its purpose. If you’re coming from a background of tough financial circumstances or unhealthy money attitudes, it’s extremely easy to err in either direction.
Frankly, I still catch myself slipping into Joan’s mentality and resenting objectively wise financial choices. It happens less than it used to, but more than it should.
But whenever I have the presence of mind to reframe the situation, to see it in terms of the joy it precipitates, I find it easier to experience a little bit of that joy right away; to be, in that moment, a happier person.
